Positively Paula

Joint Custody with Special Needs Children

Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Imagine this: you have joint custody and your child has special needs. You've just learned after the fact that your ex allowed your child to spend the night at a classmate's house without her medicine or equipment. You've politely asked, gently reminded, e-mailed, called, and screamed over the years to try to get your ex to pay more attention. Or, at least give you a heads up so YOU can take the medicine over to the classmate's house. This is a much bigger deal than forgetting to pack a toothbrush.

I don't know how many stepfamilies have children with special needs, but I do know that there are about 30 million children under the age of 13 living in a stepfamily. And, UPI.com's article, "14 Percent of U.S. Kids with Special Needs," dated March 5, 2008, points out that "10.2 million U.S. children have special healthcare needs." I believe that adds up to quite a few stepfamilies that are struggling with some kind of special needs issues.

Of course, parents with joint custody often have different values and rules. It can be truly frustrating when you strive to put your child to bed by 9 p.m. on a school night and your ex allows your child to stay up until 10:30 p.m. routinely. But, what about when your child is on a special diet and your ex totally ignores the dietary restrictions? There may not be an immediate negative health consequence, but what can you do if you worry about negative consequences that could occur over time?

I'd like to hear your solutions. I haven't seen many resources to assist stepfamilies with special needs children. For starters: Vent to friends who may not truly understand because they aren't in a stepfamily with a special needs child? Mediation? Go to court? You probably feel like you HAVE to do something! Another step is to connect with others who may be facing similar issues. Maxine Groves recently started a Facebook group called, "Stepfamilies with Special Needs Kids." Check it out.



Recent Posts


Tags

second honeymoon family law judge divorce mediation Northern Virginia Mediation Service encore brides remarried brady bunch weddings and children Mother's Day family the garter brides stepparents second marriages step parent encore bridal dress joint custody stepparent stepfamily relationships national stepfamily day foundation stepfamilies with special needs kids Stepmom's Toolbox stepchildren encore bridal specialist Garter Brides remarriage works shared joint custody marriage education second weddings relationships second time around stepdaughter blended family divorce wedding invite wording blending child support stepmothers previous marriages stepfamily counseling divorced bonus mom stepfamilies co-parenting children families familymoon national stepfamily summit Chuck Semich marriage stepfamily names step family USABFA remarriage mediation custody lawyer separated exes stepmom financial problems remarrying bride stepkids stepfamily advice stepfamily life wedding invitation wording RemarriageWorks co-parenting plan family therapist blending your credit histories stepson's judge's verdict United States Blended Family Association stepparenting remarry stepbrother stepdad ex after divorce wedding invite alimony blended families second wedding planning stepmoms problems in your remarriage stepfather stepfamily terms Yaffa Balsam stepdads NARME spouse stepfamily issues stepfamily experience DIY wedding invitations para-kin.com love for grown-ups widowed remarriages blended relationship questions Journal for Stepmoms remarries encore wedding stepmoms-to-be stepmotherhood remarrying stepfamily support group custody battle stepfamily with a special needs child step-grandparents stepson widowhood remarried with kids National Stepfamily Day United States of America Blended Family Association professional mediation journaling wedding invitation freedmont mortgage stepfathers Stepmoms Toolbox second wedding invitations stepfamily meeting second wedding family law court fatherhood therapist post divorce stepchild family law attorney stepfamily challenges carla david design late wife's family wedding invitations remarriage journey second marriage stepmom's divorcing marrying remarrying brides stepsons marry stepfamily coach Kim Olver mediators blending families Father's Day family court Mrs. Delaware carl delmont IDEALS of Kentucky stepfamily merging two families father rights family matters christy borgeld separation custody step-grandma Justice Harvey Brownstone stepfamily counselor stepmother

Archive

Tell Us More About Your Second Wedding!

1. How much did you spend on your second wedding?

$0 - 1,000
$1,001 - 5,000
$5,001 - 10,000
$10,001 - 20,000
$20,001 or more

 

Here's What You're Saying

“I find your site extremely helpful and resourceful in dealing with the many and daily issues of parenting, co-parenting and life issues that come along.” –J.P.

“I love the information you all provide. The magazine was so helpful in trying to navigate the remarriage with kids territory. Thank you for all of your information and inspiration you provide.” –K.W.

“Have I mentioned HOW MUCH I love your site?!?!? It's really cool. . . . I'm getting married to a man that has two kiddos, and it's quite a lifestyle change for me!” –M.M.

Win a Copy of
Eat, Drink and Remarry

This is not your mother’s second wedding! Getting married again? Wondering why the planning is harder than you thought it was going to be? Enter to win a copy of Eat, Drink and Remarry by Stacey Tucker!


Tweets from RemarriageWorks!