Positively Paula

Vote on Free Second Wedding (aka Encore Wedding) Contest

Thursday, March 08, 2012
WINC FM is having a free wedding contest for people who are getting remarried after divorce or widowhood, and your vote is wanted! Six people have submitted a video explaining why they should win this free encore wedding giveaway, including a wedding gown for their second wedding, and the videos and stories are great! Vote for your favorite video until March 9. 
The winner of the fabulous free encore wedding, or second wedding will be announced at our upcoming Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides on March 10 at 10 a.m. at River Creek Club in Leesburg, VA. Our Remarriage Showcases are the premier event for the remarrying bride (and groom!), and are designed for people preparing to remarry or form a stepfamily.  There will be all kinds of helpful resources and experts to help you with your second wedding, and remarried and/or stepfamily life. Registration is at RemarriageShowcase.com.
The winner will receive a fabulous free wedding package for their second, or encore wedding. Prizes include custom designed second wedding invitations, a luxe wedding experience package from A Splash of Elegance, a photography package from Jones Photography, reception music from Music Unlimited, coaching sessions from The Stepmom Coach, Claudette Chenevert, second wedding attire from Soliloquy Bridal Couture who has some of the most amazing wedding gowns I have ever seen, dinner for two at Maggiano's in Tyson's Corner, and a reception at the amazing Piedmont Club, a ClubCorp property.

Check out these wedding contest videos that people submitted to win a free second wedding (encore wedding), and vote today!  One of these lucky people will definitely have an extra special way of celebrating a second chance for happiness!


Second Weddings in Orange County, CA - What a Trip!

Wednesday, February 01, 2012
I just got back from talking about second weddings, encore brides, and life after remarriage in beautiful Orange County, CA. Thanks to everyone I met at our "meet & greet" pre-events for the upcoming Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides. My goal with the "meet & greets" was to get out to CA and meet local businesses and media who wanted to learn more about second weddings (aka encore weddings), encore brides, and stepfamily life. I love talking to others who care about challenges that blended families face and want to help remarrying couples and stepfamilies!  

I was able to do just that. I met with some great businesses in OC that really want to serve remarrying couples and stepfamilies with their unique needs that come with planning a second wedding and forming a stepfamily. I met a fabulous event planner, Sabrina Cadini-Giacomelli, PBC of La Dolce Idea. It's clear that Sabrina truly understands what people need at their second weddings. I wish I had known her when I got remarried with kids years ago.

I also had the great pleasure of being interviewed on The CW San Diego "6 in the Morning Show" to talk about "Life After Remarriage." I discussed what kind of resources remarrying couples often need, even after the wedding day.

After this trip, we are even more excited about bringing the Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides to Orange County. The venues where we are hosting our events are absolutely gorgeous. Stay tuned for more details about the Remarriage Showcases which will be at Morgan Run Resort & Club in Rancho Santa Fe, CA on October 13 and at Coto de Caza Golf & Racquet Club in Coto de Caza, CA on October 14. The beautiful view alone will make you want to check out the idea of having your second wedding in Orange County! Or, even if you aren't getting remarried in the OC, you will find helpful, unique resources to help you with planning your second wedding and stepfamily living.


Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides: Pre-Show Business Meet & Greet in OC, CA

Tuesday, January 17, 2012
The Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides is coming to Orange County, CA, on October 13 and 14. We are hosting a Pre-Show Meet and Greet with businesses, vendors and anyone who would like to learn more about the Remarriage Showcase events. I will be hosting two "meet and greet" events on January 28 and 29 so area businesses can learn more about how to grow their businesses by serving the unique needs of the remarriage market - those who are getting remarried, planning a second wedding, and living the stepfamily life!   

I think it is really important to support and help remarrying couples before they marry again. Our Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides does just that as it brings together education, resources, expert advice, support and entertainment; we are reinventing the way engaged couples prepare for their encore wedding event, remarried life, and stepfamily living!

I invite you to check out my article, "Top 5 Reasons Why Remarrying Brides Deserve Their Own Bridal Show" on YourTango.com. You'll see why preparing for an encore wedding and stepfamily living really is different from the first-time around.

So, if you are in a wedding-related business or an expert in family law, estate planning, financial advice, mediation, travel,  health, beauty, realty, etc., I'd love to network with you to discuss ways in which we can better serve the high numbers of remarrying couples and stepfamilies in OC, CA.  This is a bridal show like no other! (See our video at the top right of this page!)

There are two pre-event "meet & greets:"
  • Saturday, 1/28, 9:30-11:00 am, Morgan Run Resort & Club, Rancho Santa Fe, CA
  • Sunday, 1/29, 2:30-4:00 pm, Coto de Caza Golf & Racquet Club, Coto de Caza, CA
I'll be giving away copies of my book, Journal for Stepmoms, as door prizes and one business at each venue will win a complimentary Bronze level sponsorship (valued at $250.00) for the Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides at that location in October. Details will be provided upon RSVP. Businesses must RSVP to attend these complimentary events. RSVP to [email protected] 

Looking forward to meeting you in OC, CA!


Here Comes Support for the Remarrying Bride

Tuesday, November 08, 2011
Are you getting remarried? Or, planning a second wedding? Or, have a friend who is? Last night I had the sincere pleasure of interviewing two incredible women on the RemarriageWorks.com show on the Stepmom's Toolbox mini network on BlogTalkRadio.com. In this free, downloadable podcast of "Here Comes Support for the Remarrying Bride," you'll hear top tips that you should know before your second wedding day.  

My two guests were Christy Borgeld, founder of National Stepfamily Day and Martha Wiles, a wedding planner and encore bridal specialist. Christy Borgeld, as mother of the groom, has just experienced planning a wedding in her own blended family and offers some valuable suggestions on working through stepfamily challenges during the encore wedding planning stage. And, Martha Wiles shares some really unique ideas about planning second weddings, including suggestions if you and/or your future spouse have children.

You can also catch some of their fabulous insights about remarrying, second weddings, and stepfamily blending in my book, Journal for Stepmoms as they have each contributed some helpful information to it. Tune in when your schedule allows; it's a great way to kick off your second wedding planning. Enjoy and best wishes to you on your remarriage journey!

It Isn't Too Late to Hear "Mediation Can Help in Divorce & Remarriage"

Tuesday, October 04, 2011
If you missed my interview, "Mediation Can Help in Divorce & Remarriage" last night on RemarriageWorks.com's show on the Stepmom's Toolbox network, it isn't too late to hear it! You can listen to it or download it on BlogTalkRadio.com. A sincere thank you goes to guests Jim Pope and Ann Warshauer of the non-profit Northern VA Mediation Service for a very enlightening interview.  Enjoy!  Coming up on our next show on Nov. 7 is an interview with Christy Borgeld, the founder of National Stepfamily Day plus a special surprise for remarrying brides. 

2nd Wedding Wednesday: Where Will We Live as a Stepfamily?

Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Finding a home to call your own is often far from a walk in the park for remarried couples and stepfamilies. There are so many factors to include. Which house do you keep? Which do you sell? Or, do you just bite the bullet and sell them both? Ideally, the most viable decision would be to purchase a new home that you can truly call your own. But, we all know about the country's current economic woes, so that may not always be possible.

If your remarriage includes children, incorporate them in the search for the perfect residence. According to Jeannette Lofas, with Dawn B. Sova in Stepparenting, "look over magazines together before starting your new home and discuss the pictures in the magazines rather than argue over an actual new home with your family. If there are going to be some deep arguments about your tastes in living quarters, this is a good way to begin developing family cohesion."

One key factor in a move remarriage-style is location. The children are already overwhelmed with the adjustment of what they had viewed as their family, and now they are dealing with new family relationships. To avoid any additional trauma, keeping the kids in their same school district is probably a smart move. More quests for the perfect home are limited to a certain area for this reason.

Some blended families are comprised of more than one or two children who have been accustomed to having their own room. This may drive you to attempt to purchase a home big enough to accommodate each child. Making an effort to have the kids feel part of the family is a top priority. The last thing you want to hear is "Why do I have to share a room, and he/she doesn't?" Or, "Why do I have to change schools, and he/she doesn't?"

Many remarrying couples try to keep everyone happy. That's a major challenge. And, finding a new house can be a financial burden. For couples who are remarrying and older, the idea of buying a five bedroom house when retirement is just around the corner may not seem reasonable.

Despite all the challenges and accommodations that go into selecting the perfect roof for your stepfamily to live under, finding a home is just another step in the so-called blending process. Remarriage and stepfamily living is a journey. And, it is one to handle with care down to the smallest detail.




2nd Wedding Wednesday: Your Second Wedding With Kids

Wednesday, July 06, 2011
For the 65% of remarrying couples who have kids of their own, deciding whether to have children at the wedding is often a no-brainer. Instead your dilemma often revolves around how to include your kids in the second wedding celebration.

First, if you have or want a great relationship with your children or stepchildren-to-be, I highly recommend that you don't exclude them from your wedding. I have heard stories about couples not including their children, and I truly believe your kids should be a part of your wedding event in some way, the very least of which is to be invited. After all, when you get remarried with kids, the reality is you are bringing families together; there is more to consider than just you and your spouse.

"One of the most complicated aspects of stepfamilies is figuring out the issues of belonging - who feels 'in' and who doesn't," according to Jean McBride, author of Encouraging Words for New Stepmothers. Assuming the children want to be included, here are some ways to include them after you get engaged to remarry:

  • Create opportunities for parents who are about to become stepparents to spend time with their stepchildren during the wedding planning phase (e.g., enjoy a make-up session or spa day; shop for wedding attire together; have a pre-wedding picnic; let the "guys" in the newly forming family have their own version of a "bachelor" party on a paintball excursion or golf outing, etc.).
  • Let the kids help sample the wedding food from the wedding venue beforehand. Allow them to create a kid's menu to enjoy at the wedding reception. Have a cake designed just for them that celebrates a new family coming together.
  • Include unique second wedding favors for them. Consider having entertainment for them. When I remarried, we had an antique fire engine on which the kids could take rides, and it presented some great photo opportunities, too.
  • Encourage your kids to participate in your wedding ceremony. Older children can recite a reading or a poem. Or, your entire stepfamily can participate in a sand layering ceremony.
  • Present your children with a wedding gift or keepsake so they can be recognized and have a treasure to help remember the day.  
  • Have a special dance with them. For many kids, they will want to feel connected to you on that day.
You don't have to have a traditional second wedding or reception. You and your children can make it as bold and creative as you would like. Brainstorm with your kids beforehand and discuss the planning with them. Taking these steps will go a long way in setting the foundation for a happy and healthy stepfamily. 

Remarriage and Money: The Devil is in the Details

Tuesday, February 08, 2011
One of the reasons I started RemarriageWorks.com was that I think it is very important to go into a second marriage with eyes wide open. After all, approximately one million people get remarried every year, and we know that 65-70% of these remarriages will end in divorce. Financial issues are often cited at the top of the list of reasons why remarriages break up.

Strong warnings about the combination of remarriage and financial problems have been issued in a flurry of press coverage recently. If you are planning to remarry, I urge you to read them. But, don't get buried with worry or fear. Instead take a positive approach as a remarrying couple and have healthy discussions about the content. Dig deep into the details as much as possible.

I wish I had. Before my husband and I remarried, we thought we had thoroughly discussed our finances and philosophies about money. We talked about our intentions about our children's college educations and thought we were on the same page. Several years later when it came time for my stepdaughter to go to college, we realized that we hadn't explored the topic between us in enough detail.

Happy reading and discussions to you! There is plenty of material here about remarriage, stepfamily living, finances, and money to get you started. Just promise me you won't run scared for the hills!

  • The Case Against Remarriage by Catey Hill, SmartMoney.com
  • Are You Remarrying? If So, Don't Forget the Financial Implications by Meghan Streit, Erickson Living Tribune
  • What a Second Marriage Does to Your Money by Jill Krasny, MainStreet.com
  • Blended Families Require Financial Planning by Matt Krantz, USAToday.com



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