Positively Paula

Congratulations to Dr. William Petit on His Remarriage!

Friday, August 10, 2012
Congratulations to Dr. William Petit, Jr. who got remarried to Christine Paluf this past weekend in Connecticut. You may remember the tragedy Dr. William Petit, Jr. faced when he lost his wife and children in a horrifying home invasion in 2007. 

What makes this event extraordinarily special is that they had the blessing of his late wife's family. A blessing written by the father of Dr. Petit's late wife, Jennifer Hawke-Petit, was read aloud before the wedding meal, according to the article, "Dr. William Petit Remarries Five Years After Family Tragedy," in People.  

And, according to the article, Jennifer's sister said, "Our family needed this to help us heal." We send all of them our sincerest and best wishes.  May William and Christine enjoy years of happiness together! 


3 Top Questions Remarried Couples Should Ask When They Disagree

Wednesday, June 06, 2012
This week I had the pleasure of interviewing Chuck Semich, our advice columnist at RemarriageWorks. Our episode, "Top Secrets of Stepfathers" is one of my favorites because I don't think there are enough resources available for stepdads. During the show, dedicated to all stepfathers in honor of Father's Day, Chuck, a licensed family therapist who specialized in blended family relationships and is both a stepchild and stepfather himself, offered a spot check or inventory that we can ask ourselves when we are arguing...  
I asked Chuck for his best advice on how to make your remarriage succeed. Chuck described the top three questions he has asked himself when he has been in a disagreement:
  1. Is this a matter of life or death? 
  2. Am I part of the problem, or part of the solution?
  3. What's more important - being right, or having a healthy relationship?
If you take a moment and think about these questions the next time you and your spouse are arguing, especially about a blended family issue, you can really change your own perspective, and diffuse your anger or frustration. I've tried it. I haven't succeeded in calming myself down every time, but with practice, it gets better.

I invite you to listen to the podcast, "Top Secrets of Stepfathers" with Chuck Semich, and to check out his stepfamily advice in our advice column. His professional and personal experience, along with his wisdom are really helpful. If you and your spouse are facing problems in your remarriage, consider listening to the podcast together.
Listen to internet radio with Stepmoms Toolbox on Blog Talk Radio

Top Three Tips for Planning Your Second Wedding from StaceyLu

Thursday, May 10, 2012
On Monday night during the "Eat, Drink and Remarry with StaceyLu" episode on my RemarriageWorks show on BlogTalkRadio, I had the pleasure of interviewing Stacey Tucker, author of the popular blog, Saying it Out Loud, and the book, Eat, Drink and Remarry: Stacey Lu's Guide to Planning the Second Time Around.  The podcast is now available for you if you missed the live call. 
You'll hear StaceyLu's top three tips for planning your second wedding and her top three tips for your remarriage. And, you'll be sure to crack a smile when you hear StaceyLu's funniest moment as she planned her encore wedding. Enjoy! 

Listen to internet radio with Stepmoms Toolbox on Blog Talk Radio

Win a FREE Second Wedding (aka Encore Wedding) from WINC FM!

Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Do you know anyone who is planning their second wedding? engaged to remarry? having an encore wedding in the next year or so? If you or anyone you know is planning to get married again after divorce or widowhood, you have to check out an exciting contest from WINC FM in northern VA/DC. WINC FM is giving away an encore wedding (aka second wedding). This could be a great way to start off on the right foot with your second chance for happiness! The contest package includes some fabulous prizes.

WINC FM, out of Winchester VA, our media sponsor for our upcoming Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides, which will be held at River Creek Club in Leesburg, VA on March 10, is having an encore wedding giveaway on-line now!  Prizes include, but are not limited to: 
  • second wedding invitations custom-designed by Carla David Design
  • a Luxe Wedding Experience package from the extraordinary event planning company, A Splash of Elegance; 
  • wedding photography by Jones Photography
  • a wedding gown from the fabulous new bridal couture boutique, Soliloquy;  
  • flowers by Graceful Flowers;
  • music by Music Unlimited;
  • the fine venue Piedmont Club in Haymarket, VAa ClubCorp club; and, 
  • if you are going to have a stepfamily, four coaching sessions from The Stepmom Coach, Claudette Chenevert.  
Even if you aren't located in northern VA/DC, consider making it a destination second wedding! (Please note: travel and lodging are not included.) 
All you have to do is submit a video that is 30 seconds or less telling WINC FM why you deserve an encore wedding. If you or your fiance' have had some rough times, and I'm guessing you may have if one or both of you is getting remarried, check out this opportunity. 
WINC will be announcing the winning couple at our Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides on March 10. 
And, for those of you who may be wondering.....
Q: How are second weddings any different from first weddings?
A: I invite you to check out my article, "Top 5 Reasons Why Remarrying Brides Deserve Their Own Bridal Show." 
Q:  What? Are you kidding me? What's up with RemarriageWorks.com, WINC FM and these sponsors? Are they promoting divorce?  
A:  ABSOLUTELY NOT!  Here are the plain facts.  Nearly 100 million people in the U.S. are either considering remarriage after divorce or widowhood, or are already remarried. Over 1000 stepfamilies form daily. The divorce rate for second marriages is between 60-70%, and that rate is even higher than the divorce rate for first marriages. Our mission at RemarriageWorks.com is to help remarriages and stepfamilies succeed. Remarriage and stepfamily living and blending families can be a challenging road, an often very rewarding and joyful journey, but it can be very tough and often takes a lot of hard work. 
We want to make the remarriage journey a little easier for you by bringing you credible and valuable resources, inspiration, and hope with a positive twist!  If you like this, please spread the word about our efforts and WINC FM's encore wedding giveaway contest.  I really think the time is coming where we can start supporting healthy remarriages and stepfamilies from the start!


Happy Valentine's Day to My Blended Family and Yours

Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Opinions about Valentine's Day vary.  (In fact, these days opinions about everything vary, including ones about remarriage on Facebook, but I'll save my story on that for a future blog.) Today I want to send everyone, especially my husband, family, friends, and readers a positive Happy Valentine's Day message. I often refer to my family as a blended family or stepfamily in my posts, but they really are my "family." If you blog, you know how it is to try to please the search engine gods out there. So, back to Valentine's Day...


Some people swoon at the idea of an entire day dedicated to love and the act of showing love; many others think it is a "made up" holiday forced upon us by the greeting card industry. Before writing this post today, I read the Wikipedia article on Valentine's Day to try to come up with some deep, meaningful post about Valentine's Day; and frankly, I was just disappointed. Reading the article started to become a downer. How can a day celebrating love turn into a day that has been banned? (I guess I'll explore that theme, too when I decide to write about my recent Facebook experience. And, that isn't going to happen today!)

Today I'm sending a loving Happy Valentine's Day to my husband, my family, friends, and to all families - blended and step! I truly appreciate all of you and wish you love, peace, and happiness. Whether you are the remarried couple that goes out on the town tonight and exchanges extravagant gifts, the couple that gives an extra hug whispering, "Happy Valentine's Day" while settling into bed, or the stepparent that sends a simple text message to your stepchild simply saying "Happy Valentine's Day," show some love today to those around you that you care about. Any way you want to do it is fine.


Second Weddings in Orange County, CA - What a Trip!

Wednesday, February 01, 2012
I just got back from talking about second weddings, encore brides, and life after remarriage in beautiful Orange County, CA. Thanks to everyone I met at our "meet & greet" pre-events for the upcoming Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides. My goal with the "meet & greets" was to get out to CA and meet local businesses and media who wanted to learn more about second weddings (aka encore weddings), encore brides, and stepfamily life. I love talking to others who care about challenges that blended families face and want to help remarrying couples and stepfamilies!  

I was able to do just that. I met with some great businesses in OC that really want to serve remarrying couples and stepfamilies with their unique needs that come with planning a second wedding and forming a stepfamily. I met a fabulous event planner, Sabrina Cadini-Giacomelli, PBC of La Dolce Idea. It's clear that Sabrina truly understands what people need at their second weddings. I wish I had known her when I got remarried with kids years ago.

I also had the great pleasure of being interviewed on The CW San Diego "6 in the Morning Show" to talk about "Life After Remarriage." I discussed what kind of resources remarrying couples often need, even after the wedding day.

After this trip, we are even more excited about bringing the Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides to Orange County. The venues where we are hosting our events are absolutely gorgeous. Stay tuned for more details about the Remarriage Showcases which will be at Morgan Run Resort & Club in Rancho Santa Fe, CA on October 13 and at Coto de Caza Golf & Racquet Club in Coto de Caza, CA on October 14. The beautiful view alone will make you want to check out the idea of having your second wedding in Orange County! Or, even if you aren't getting remarried in the OC, you will find helpful, unique resources to help you with planning your second wedding and stepfamily living.


Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides: Pre-Show Business Meet & Greet in OC, CA

Tuesday, January 17, 2012
The Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides is coming to Orange County, CA, on October 13 and 14. We are hosting a Pre-Show Meet and Greet with businesses, vendors and anyone who would like to learn more about the Remarriage Showcase events. I will be hosting two "meet and greet" events on January 28 and 29 so area businesses can learn more about how to grow their businesses by serving the unique needs of the remarriage market - those who are getting remarried, planning a second wedding, and living the stepfamily life!   

I think it is really important to support and help remarrying couples before they marry again. Our Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides does just that as it brings together education, resources, expert advice, support and entertainment; we are reinventing the way engaged couples prepare for their encore wedding event, remarried life, and stepfamily living!

I invite you to check out my article, "Top 5 Reasons Why Remarrying Brides Deserve Their Own Bridal Show" on YourTango.com. You'll see why preparing for an encore wedding and stepfamily living really is different from the first-time around.

So, if you are in a wedding-related business or an expert in family law, estate planning, financial advice, mediation, travel,  health, beauty, realty, etc., I'd love to network with you to discuss ways in which we can better serve the high numbers of remarrying couples and stepfamilies in OC, CA.  This is a bridal show like no other! (See our video at the top right of this page!)

There are two pre-event "meet & greets:"
  • Saturday, 1/28, 9:30-11:00 am, Morgan Run Resort & Club, Rancho Santa Fe, CA
  • Sunday, 1/29, 2:30-4:00 pm, Coto de Caza Golf & Racquet Club, Coto de Caza, CA
I'll be giving away copies of my book, Journal for Stepmoms, as door prizes and one business at each venue will win a complimentary Bronze level sponsorship (valued at $250.00) for the Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides at that location in October. Details will be provided upon RSVP. Businesses must RSVP to attend these complimentary events. RSVP to [email protected] 

Looking forward to meeting you in OC, CA!


For Single Parents: Overcoming the Challenges of Dating After Divorce

Monday, October 24, 2011
I often hear from single parents who have divorced and are open to getting remarried. "Within 5 years of divorcing, 89% of men and 79% of women remarry," according to Stepcoupling by S. Wisdom and J. Green. RemarriageWorks.com supports you wherever you are on the remarriage journey, including if you are divorced or widowed and thinking about remarriage and having a stepfamily one day. If you are a divorced single parent, have you heard of DateMyFamilly.com?

I am passionate about helping people who think they want to get married again, especially before they remarry and have a blended or stepfamily. I think the remarriage journey is easier to navigate if you know what to expect ahead of time. One website that caught my eye recently is DateMyFamily.com. 

Basically, DateMyFamily.com is a free online dating website for family-oriented individuals. I am really careful about associating with dating websites, so I recently connected with one of its founders. I liked what I heard; their mission statement is "to establish a network of family-oriented individuals while inspiring love, happiness and growth, by not just building partnerships but by building families." Interesting concept.

I'm personally not in the dating world, online or off, anymore, so I invited DateMyFamily.com to share some ideas with single parents about overcoming the challenges of dating after divorce. Here is what they had to say:

"For the majority of individuals who have been through a divorce, the idea of dating again and committing themselves to another relationship is one that is challenging and takes time. But we are not animals! As human beings, we are social by nature and long for the attention and nurture of an intimate partner. And, although the feelings of confusion, guilt, vulnerability, heartbreak, insecurity, indignation, anger, depression — and the list goes on — are tough to cope with, they do eventually pass.

Dating in many cases can be one of the most effective tools for growing past the heartbreak and moving on after divorce, once you are comfortable with the idea of it. There are a few key factors for dating after a divorce that can make it easier, more enjoyable, and make it possible to begin a fresh and successful relationship.

1. Self Confidence. Similar to dating prior to marriage, self-confidence plays a huge role in dating after divorce. Not only does self-confidence help in attracting a date and making you feel good about yourself, but it also serves as a step forward in moving on from the previous relationship.

2. Having an open mind. One of the worst thing someone can do when re-entering the dating world after a divorce is to compare the new person they are involved with to their previous partner. Although it is something that will occur naturally, it is one that should be avoided. Especially openly making comparisons or remarks about your prior partner to the person you are currently speaking to or interested in. Nothing turns someone off quite as badly a a person talking about their ex. Having an open mind and positive attitude towards the new man or woman can also help you appreciate new aspects of the person or even yourself, that you were previously unaware of.

3. Take your time. There is no rush to jump into another relationship and risk getting into a similar situation to the one you already experienced. Taking your time will save a lot of energy and potential grief and the future and make you feel more secure with the person you end up dating. It also allows for more positive dates because with no rush, you will really be able to pick through the crowd to find someone you are truly compatible with.

By keeping these three tips in mind, dating after marriage should be a positive experience that gives you a second opportunity at finding that special someone as well as help you grow as an individual. And, remember, we're not animals! Don't be afraid to go out and find your true life partner!"

So, there you have it from DateMy Family.com, the world's first free family-oriented dating platform that effectively uses a matching algorithm which goes one step deeper to match individuals not just through personality traits and common interests, but through their background and views on family.
Let me know what you think! I, myself think the "Take your time..." makes a lot of sense. If you are remarried, would you advise the same? If you are a single parent after divorce and happen to sign up for DateMyFamily.com, I'd like to know your thoughts about it, too.

It Isn't Too Late to Hear "Mediation Can Help in Divorce & Remarriage"

Tuesday, October 04, 2011
If you missed my interview, "Mediation Can Help in Divorce & Remarriage" last night on RemarriageWorks.com's show on the Stepmom's Toolbox network, it isn't too late to hear it! You can listen to it or download it on BlogTalkRadio.com. A sincere thank you goes to guests Jim Pope and Ann Warshauer of the non-profit Northern VA Mediation Service for a very enlightening interview.  Enjoy!  Coming up on our next show on Nov. 7 is an interview with Christy Borgeld, the founder of National Stepfamily Day plus a special surprise for remarrying brides. 

Divorced and/or Remarried? Mediation Can Help You

Tuesday, September 27, 2011
When I was going through a divorce over a decade ago, I associated the word "mediation" with "giving in." And, in no way was that going to happen! In my view, I had been wronged, and things weren't going to be even. I was in such a different mindset then, and just the thought of my sitting on the living room floor, jousting, and divvying up our joint collection of CDs and "...one stuffed Pikachu for your house, and I get the stuffed Barney for mine" is horrifying. Whether you are divorcing or remarried, tune in to my next RemarriageWorks show (the Stepmom's Toolbox) on 10/3 to learn how professional mediation can help you.

On 10/3 at 8 p.m. EST, on our new RemarriageWorks.com BlogTalkRadio show, our topic will be "Mediation Can Help You in Divorce and Remarriage." Join me as I interview guests Jim Pope, M.S.W., J.D. and Ann L. Warshauer of the non-profit organization, Northern Virginia Mediation Service. As professional mediators, they will address: the ABC's of mediation, not only divorce mediation, but how mediation can help you in your remarriage and stepfamily life.

Are you facing a sticky or downright high conflict situation with an ex? Are you frustrated with shared joint custody problems? Are you absolutely stressed from child support, or lack thereof? Do you need a co-parenting plan? Does your child still want to see her step-grandparents after your ex has divorced again?

Thanks to our show's sponsor, IDEALS of Kentucky, tune in to our show on 10/3 at 8 p.m. EST, and hear the facts about mediation, and how it can help you in your divorce and remarriage. We'll even discuss if and when it doesn't work. I am sure it is a much healthier process to explore than tugging on Barney's arm or even worse. Very sad, but true in so many cases. 


Recent Posts


Tags

stepfamily relationships shared joint custody remarrying brides mediation stepmom's marry co-parenting divorce stepsons stepparents stepfamily experience second wedding father rights wedding invitation stepdads family court after divorce marriage stepfamilies remarried with kids stepchild ex stepchildren wedding invitation wording family Mother's Day United States Blended Family Association custody battle financial problems fatherhood weddings and children widowhood stepmothers stepmoms remarrying bride stepfamily Stepmom's Toolbox stepdad co-parenting plan RemarriageWorks stepfamily names blended families spouse IDEALS of Kentucky stepfamily meeting custody remarriages stepmother second weddings the garter brides relationship questions second marriages encore bridal specialist Stepmoms Toolbox judge's verdict late wife's family stepmom freedmont mortgage National Stepfamily Day DIY wedding invitations second marriage para-kin.com stepfather blended family stepparent marrying stepfamily issues families widowed stepmotherhood remarriage journey stepfathers custody lawyer second wedding invitations bonus mom stepfamily life family law attorney encore bridal dress problems in your remarriage stepfamily support group carla david design Northern Virginia Mediation Service step parent exes stepbrother remarries national stepfamily day foundation remarriage children second time around wedding invitations step-grandma journaling remarriage works familymoon brady bunch Chuck Semich therapist stepfamily advice alimony Justice Harvey Brownstone stepson stepkids stepfamily counseling stepfamily terms stepfamily counselor Garter Brides encore brides stepfamilies with special needs kids mediators stepdaughter United States of America Blended Family Association stepfamily with a special needs child relationships post divorce Yaffa Balsam stepparenting stepfamily coach Journal for Stepmoms blending families divorcing marriage education merging two families blending your credit histories stepson's remarried second honeymoon family law court step-grandparents wedding invite stepmoms-to-be Kim Olver stepfamily challenges joint custody previous marriages blended divorced Father's Day family law judge second wedding planning separation USABFA Mrs. Delaware divorce mediation step family encore wedding separated NARME child support family matters remarrying professional mediation remarry wedding invite wording blending carl delmont family therapist christy borgeld national stepfamily summit love for grown-ups

Archive

Tell Us More About Your Second Wedding!

1. How much did you spend on your second wedding?

$0 - 1,000
$1,001 - 5,000
$5,001 - 10,000
$10,001 - 20,000
$20,001 or more

 

Here's What You're Saying

“I find your site extremely helpful and resourceful in dealing with the many and daily issues of parenting, co-parenting and life issues that come along.” –J.P.

“I love the information you all provide. The magazine was so helpful in trying to navigate the remarriage with kids territory. Thank you for all of your information and inspiration you provide.” –K.W.

“Have I mentioned HOW MUCH I love your site?!?!? It's really cool. . . . I'm getting married to a man that has two kiddos, and it's quite a lifestyle change for me!” –M.M.

Win a Copy of
Eat, Drink and Remarry

This is not your mother’s second wedding! Getting married again? Wondering why the planning is harder than you thought it was going to be? Enter to win a copy of Eat, Drink and Remarry by Stacey Tucker!


Tweets from RemarriageWorks!