Positively Bonnie

For Single Parents: Overcoming the Challenges of Dating After Divorce

Monday, October 24, 2011
I often hear from single parents who have divorced and are open to getting remarried. "Within 5 years of divorcing, 89% of men and 79% of women remarry," according to Stepcoupling by S. Wisdom and J. Green. RemarriageWorks.com supports you wherever you are on the remarriage journey, including if you are divorced or widowed and thinking about remarriage and having a stepfamily one day. If you are a divorced single parent, have you heard of DateMyFamilly.com?

I am passionate about helping people who think they want to get married again, especially before they remarry and have a blended or stepfamily. I think the remarriage journey is easier to navigate if you know what to expect ahead of time. One website that caught my eye recently is DateMyFamily.com. 

Basically, DateMyFamily.com is a free online dating website for family-oriented individuals. I am really careful about associating with dating websites, so I recently connected with one of its founders. I liked what I heard; their mission statement is "to establish a network of family-oriented individuals while inspiring love, happiness and growth, by not just building partnerships but by building families." Interesting concept.

I'm personally not in the dating world, online or off, anymore, so I invited DateMyFamily.com to share some ideas with single parents about overcoming the challenges of dating after divorce. Here is what they had to say:

"For the majority of individuals who have been through a divorce, the idea of dating again and committing themselves to another relationship is one that is challenging and takes time. But we are not animals! As human beings, we are social by nature and long for the attention and nurture of an intimate partner. And, although the feelings of confusion, guilt, vulnerability, heartbreak, insecurity, indignation, anger, depression — and the list goes on — are tough to cope with, they do eventually pass.

Dating in many cases can be one of the most effective tools for growing past the heartbreak and moving on after divorce, once you are comfortable with the idea of it. There are a few key factors for dating after a divorce that can make it easier, more enjoyable, and make it possible to begin a fresh and successful relationship.

1. Self Confidence. Similar to dating prior to marriage, self-confidence plays a huge role in dating after divorce. Not only does self-confidence help in attracting a date and making you feel good about yourself, but it also serves as a step forward in moving on from the previous relationship.

2. Having an open mind. One of the worst thing someone can do when re-entering the dating world after a divorce is to compare the new person they are involved with to their previous partner. Although it is something that will occur naturally, it is one that should be avoided. Especially openly making comparisons or remarks about your prior partner to the person you are currently speaking to or interested in. Nothing turns someone off quite as badly a a person talking about their ex. Having an open mind and positive attitude towards the new man or woman can also help you appreciate new aspects of the person or even yourself, that you were previously unaware of.

3. Take your time. There is no rush to jump into another relationship and risk getting into a similar situation to the one you already experienced. Taking your time will save a lot of energy and potential grief and the future and make you feel more secure with the person you end up dating. It also allows for more positive dates because with no rush, you will really be able to pick through the crowd to find someone you are truly compatible with.

By keeping these three tips in mind, dating after marriage should be a positive experience that gives you a second opportunity at finding that special someone as well as help you grow as an individual. And, remember, we're not animals! Don't be afraid to go out and find your true life partner!"

So, there you have it from DateMy Family.com, the world's first free family-oriented dating platform that effectively uses a matching algorithm which goes one step deeper to match individuals not just through personality traits and common interests, but through their background and views on family.
Let me know what you think! I, myself think the "Take your time..." makes a lot of sense. If you are remarried, would you advise the same? If you are a single parent after divorce and happen to sign up for DateMyFamily.com, I'd like to know your thoughts about it, too.


Recent Posts

  • A Fresh Start for 2013: A Gift from Four Stepmom Experts
  • A Heartfelt Holiday Gift for Stepmoms: Our Best Stepfamily Advice
  • Scary Money Matters With Stepchildren on Stepmoms Toolbox
  • Wanted: Your Stepchildren. (Just Kidding!) How Else Can We Help?
  • Celebrate National Stepfamily Day on September 16!
  • The Grand Prix: Stepfamily Life in the Fast Lane
  • Congratulations to Dr. William Petit on His Remarriage!
  • The New Brady Bunch Reboot With Vince Vaughn
  • Get Inspired by Mrs. Delaware, a Stepmom on August 6
  • Check Out the NARME Conference in Baltimore

Tags

  • after divorce (1)
  • alimony (1)
  • blended (1)
  • blended families (7)
  • blended family (15)
  • blending families (5)
  • blending your credit histories (1)
  • bonus mom (1)
  • brady bunch (2)
  • carl delmont (1)
  • carla david design (2)
  • Charlie Kimball (1)
  • child support (2)
  • children (1)
  • children in your remarriage (1)
  • christy borgeld (3)
  • Chuck Semich (1)
  • co-parenting (2)
  • co-parenting plan (1)
  • custody (1)
  • custody battle (1)
  • custody lawyer (1)
  • difficult money conversations (1)
  • divorce (11)
  • divorce mediation (1)
  • divorced (5)
  • divorcing (2)
  • DIY wedding invitations (1)
  • Ed Carpenter (1)
  • encore bridal dress (1)
  • encore bridal specialist (1)
  • encore brides (5)
  • encore wedding (6)
  • ex (3)
  • exes (2)
  • families (2)
  • family (3)
  • family court (1)
  • family event (1)
  • family law attorney (3)
  • family law court (1)
  • family law judge (1)
  • family matters (1)
  • family therapist (1)
  • familymoon (1)
  • father rights (1)
  • fatherhood (1)
  • Father's Day (2)
  • financial problems (1)
  • freedmont mortgage (1)
  • Garter Brides (1)
  • getting remarried (1)
  • Grand Prix of Baltimore (1)
  • holiday tips for stepfamilies (1)
  • IDEALS of Kentucky (2)
  • joint custody (6)
  • Journal for Stepmoms (4)
  • journaling (2)
  • judge's verdict (1)
  • Justice Harvey Brownstone (1)
  • Kim Olver (1)
  • late wife's family (1)
  • leading cause of divorce (1)
  • love for grown-ups (1)
  • marriage (4)
  • marriage education (1)
  • married (1)
  • marry (1)
  • marrying (2)
  • marrying again (1)
  • mediation (3)
  • mediators (1)
  • merging two families (1)
  • Mother's Day (1)
  • Mrs. Delaware (1)
  • NARME (1)
  • National Stepfamily Day (5)
  • national stepfamily day foundation (2)
  • national stepfamily summit (2)
  • Northern Virginia Mediation Service (2)
  • para-kin.com (1)
  • planning a second wedding (1)
  • post divorce (1)
  • previous marriages (1)
  • problems in your remarriage (1)
  • professional mediation (1)
  • relationship questions (1)
  • relationships (1)
  • remarriage (28)
  • remarriage journey (5)
  • remarriage works (1)
  • remarriages (4)
  • RemarriageWorks (18)
  • remarried (30)
  • remarried couples (1)
  • remarried with kids (1)
  • remarries (1)
  • remarry (7)
  • remarrying (8)
  • remarrying bride (2)
  • remarrying brides (4)
  • second honeymoon (1)
  • second marriage (3)
  • second marriages (3)
  • second time around (1)
  • second wedding (12)
  • second wedding invitations (4)
  • second wedding planning (2)
  • second weddings (4)
  • separated (1)
  • separation (1)
  • shared joint custody (1)
  • spouse (1)
  • step family (1)
  • step parent (1)
  • stepbrother (1)
  • stepchild (4)
  • stepchildren (8)
  • stepchild's point of view (1)
  • stepdad (3)
  • stepdads (3)
  • stepdaughter (1)
  • stepfamilies (20)
  • stepfamilies with special needs kids (1)
  • stepfamily (40)
  • stepfamily advice (1)
  • stepfamily challenges (2)
  • stepfamily coach (1)
  • stepfamily counseling (1)
  • stepfamily counselor (2)
  • stepfamily experience (1)
  • stepfamily issues (1)
  • stepfamily life (5)
  • stepfamily meeting (1)
  • stepfamily names (1)
  • stepfamily relationships (3)
  • stepfamily support group (1)
  • stepfamily terms (1)
  • stepfamily with a special needs child (1)
  • stepfather (2)
  • stepfathers (5)
  • step-grandma (1)
  • step-grandparents (2)
  • stepkids (1)
  • stepmom (15)
  • stepmoms (9)
  • stepmom's (2)
  • Stepmoms Toolbox (1)
  • Stepmom's Toolbox (8)
  • stepmoms-to-be (1)
  • stepmother (5)
  • stepmotherhood (1)
  • stepmothers (7)
  • stepparent (4)
  • stepparenting (6)
  • stepparents (3)
  • stepson (2)
  • stepsons (1)
  • stepson's (1)
  • successful stepfamily (1)
  • the garter brides (1)
  • therapist (1)
  • United States Blended Family Association (1)
  • United States of America Blended Family Association (1)
  • USABFA (1)
  • wedding invitation (1)
  • wedding invitation wording (1)
  • wedding invitations (1)
  • wedding invite (1)
  • wedding invite wording blending (1)
  • weddings and children (1)
  • widowed (3)
  • widowhood (4)
  • Yaffa Balsam (1)

Archive

  • December 2012 (2)
  • October 2012 (1)
  • September 2012 (2)
  • August 2012 (2)
  • July 2012 (3)
  • June 2012 (2)
  • May 2012 (4)
  • March 2012 (2)
  • February 2012 (4)

Tell Us More About Your Second Wedding!

1. How much did you spend on your second wedding?

$0 - 1,000
$1,001 - 5,000
$5,001 - 10,000
$10,001 - 20,000
$20,001 or more

 

Here's What You're Saying

“I find your site extremely helpful and resourceful in dealing with the many and daily issues of parenting, co-parenting and life issues that come along.” –J.P.

“I love the information you all provide. The magazine was so helpful in trying to navigate the remarriage with kids territory. Thank you for all of your information and inspiration you provide.” –K.W.

“Have I mentioned HOW MUCH I love your site?!?!? It's really cool. . . . I'm getting married to a man that has two kiddos, and it's quite a lifestyle change for me!” –M.M.

Win a Copy of
Eat, Drink and Remarry

This is not your mother’s second wedding! Getting married again? Wondering why the planning is harder than you thought it was going to be? Enter to win a copy of Eat, Drink and Remarry by Stacey Tucker!


Tweets from RemarriageWorks!