Positively Paula

Divorced and/or Remarried? Mediation Can Help You

Tuesday, September 27, 2011
When I was going through a divorce over a decade ago, I associated the word "mediation" with "giving in." And, in no way was that going to happen! In my view, I had been wronged, and things weren't going to be even. I was in such a different mindset then, and just the thought of my sitting on the living room floor, jousting, and divvying up our joint collection of CDs and "...one stuffed Pikachu for your house, and I get the stuffed Barney for mine" is horrifying. Whether you are divorcing or remarried, tune in to my next RemarriageWorks show (the Stepmom's Toolbox) on 10/3 to learn how professional mediation can help you.

On 10/3 at 8 p.m. EST, on our new RemarriageWorks.com BlogTalkRadio show, our topic will be "Mediation Can Help You in Divorce and Remarriage." Join me as I interview guests Jim Pope, M.S.W., J.D. and Ann L. Warshauer of the non-profit organization, Northern Virginia Mediation Service. As professional mediators, they will address: the ABC's of mediation, not only divorce mediation, but how mediation can help you in your remarriage and stepfamily life.

Are you facing a sticky or downright high conflict situation with an ex? Are you frustrated with shared joint custody problems? Are you absolutely stressed from child support, or lack thereof? Do you need a co-parenting plan? Does your child still want to see her step-grandparents after your ex has divorced again?

Thanks to our show's sponsor, IDEALS of Kentucky, tune in to our show on 10/3 at 8 p.m. EST, and hear the facts about mediation, and how it can help you in your divorce and remarriage. We'll even discuss if and when it doesn't work. I am sure it is a much healthier process to explore than tugging on Barney's arm or even worse. Very sad, but true in so many cases. 

Remember National Stepfamily Day is September 16th!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011
This past weekend was pretty tough for many people as our country remembered the events of 9/11 and honored so many heroes and heroines. May we never forget. It was an even tougher day for me personally because my father died suddenly at the age of 54 on the same date 16 years ago. I am certain there were many moist eyes, including mine. When I woke up Monday morning and saw the sun shining for the first time in several days, I tried to think about some good things coming up this week. National Stepfamily Day, celebrated on September 16th is one of those things.

National Stepfamily Day and the National Stepfamily Day Foundation were founded by Christy Borgeld, who has worked tirelessly for 15 years to raise awareness about stepfamily issues, and develop programs, research, and support to American stepfamilies. If you ever get the opportunity to connect with Christy, just do it!

This astounding woman, who received an Outstanding Service Award from the Women's Information Network this year has a contagious passion to help step and blended families. Don't miss her video featuring 101 things to do with your family on National Stepfamily Day.

Lately, there has been some debate about whether stepfamilies need or should have a special day, such as National Stepfamily Day dedicated to them. I agree that a stepfamily is a family. And, while as much I may want or have wanted my stepfamily to not be different from a family that was formed by a first marriage with everyone biologically connected, in some ways it just simply is. It is a family no less, as we know that families come in many varieties these days.

My feelings about whether my stepfamily is different from any other family have shifted over the years. At first, I was hell-bent that my new stepfamily wasn't going to be treated as different. We were all going to learn to love each other and get along no matter what. Now I realize that hell, sometimes there are parts of my biological family, 40+ years old in which I grew up that still don't always get along, and I frankly wonder at times where some of the love is.

Here's the bottom line as I see it today. The majority of stepfamilies that I have come across face unique challenges and circumstances. They are families. And, one of the reasons I support National Stepfamily Day is that I know first-hand how difficult it can be to have a successful remarriage and stepfamily. Building a successful, lasting stepfamily requires hard work, dedication, self-growth, time, dedication, patience, love, and more. I'm celebrating what we have built thus far. I hope you do, too.

The Garter Brides Respond to You, RemarriageWorks Readers

Tuesday, September 06, 2011
I recently announced in this blog that The Garter Brides, authors of Love for Grown-Ups: The Garter Brides' Guide to Marrying for Life When You've Already Got a Life wanted to answer questions that you may have, especially if you are thinking about getting remarried after divorce or widowhood.  Here is what these three fabulous ladies, Ann Blumenthal Jacobs, Patricia Ryan Lampl, and Tish Rabe had to say.

Check out this video to hear what The Garter Brides had to say in response to your questions! 


RemarriageWorks Launches New Monthly Radio Show for "Remarrieds" and Stepfamilies

Friday, September 02, 2011
I invite you to tune in on Monday, September 5, 8-9 p.m. EST as I launch my new RemarriageWorks monthly show on The Stepmom's Toolbox segment of BlogTalkRadio. Keeping with our mission of helping remarriages and stepfamilies succeed, the RemarriageWorks show, airing every first Monday of the month at 8 p.m. EST will cover topics that will help you on your remarriage journey - whether you are divorced and widowed and thinking about getting remarried, planning your second wedding, or living in a stepfamily.

My first topic will be "Remarriage Works: A Second Look at Mortgages, Credit, and Finances" with special guest Carl Delmont, CEO of Freedmont Mortgage, and Board Member of the MD Council on Economic Education and MD Coalition for Financial Literacy. Carl, the first certified divorce planner in MD, is also a weekly expert on WMAR ABC TV in Baltimore. 

Do you worry about blending your credit histories or finances? Are you remarried and thinking about buying a new home? Do you understand how buying a home in your second marriage is different from your first-time purchase? Do you know how child support and alimony are treated when applying for a mortgage?

If you are pre or post divorce and/or remarried, or somewhere in between, don't miss this dynamic guest!

And, last, but not least, we are proud to announce our radio show sponsor, IDEALS of Kentucky. Their mission is to teach people methods of communicating with others, of dealing with emotions, and of solving problems. I don't think there is a remarriage in the world that wouldn't benefit from that!

If you have a topic, you would like to hear about, .


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