Positively Paula

Introducing Second Wedding Wednesdays!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011
I get a lot of questions about second weddings. Since we launched our premier event for remarrying brides, the Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides, I'm getting even more queries and interviews about what to have and do at your second (or subsequent) wedding. As a result, I'm really excited about writing about topics related to second weddings on Wednesdays and I'm calling it "Second Wedding Wednesday" so you know when to look for it.

Based on the questions I have received, I'll discuss topics, such as:
  • second weddings and children, 
  • how a second wedding is different from a first,
  • what are some great resources to consider when planning a second wedding,
  • second wedding vows,
  • what to wear and second wedding dresses,
  • and, much more!
Feel free to drop me a line ([email protected]) and let me know what you would like to hear about when it comes to second weddings.  I never claim to have all of the answers, but I promise you if I don't know the answer, I will continue to find the most credible and valuable resources to help you no matter where you are on your remarriage journey - before, during, and happily ever after!

Give the Stepfathers Some Love, Too, on Father's Day

Sunday, June 19, 2011
A male colleague and I spoke this week about the lack of positive attention that stepfathers get. (So, for all of you deserving and extraordinary stepdads, it is especially important that we send you some stepfather love on this Father's Day!) I first wrote about this topic in The Washington Times, "On Remarriage: Stepfathers Deserve to be Honored Too" a few years ago. It still hangs in a frame on a wall in our home today in honor of my husband who is a stepdad to my two sons. I'm wondering has anything changed for stepfathers since I wrote that column in 2008?

There have been some positive changes that I've noted. Just yesterday a stepdad mentioned to me that he was pleasantly surprised to see a whole section of stepfather Father's Day cards in the store. I don't know how big that section is, but I still don't get the sense that there are enough cards for even half of the millions of stepdads in the country.

And, since 2008, I am aware of one additional book written specifically for stepfathers, namely The Smart Stepdad by Ron Deal. This book, which is in the Christian living genre offers advice for men navigating stepfamily living and provides essential guidelines to help stepdads not only survive, but succeed.

So, yes, I think things are moving in a positive direction when it comes to supporting stepdads, but there is still a long way to go considering that 4 out of 10 adults are now in a blended family. 

Why aren't there more resources for stepdads? Is there no demand? Do stepdads not care? Do they not seek outside resources and assistance to help them be the best stepfathers they can be? If not, why are they reluctant?  Is there indeed an overwhelming demand, and there just aren't enough experts or resources to meet their needs? What are your thoughts on this?

As a final tribute to stepdads this Father's Day, take a listen to Brad Paisley's music video, "He Didn't Have to Be" which was produced in 1999, reached #1, and was nominated for CMA song of the year. With so many more stepdads around today, this song is even more important. Happy Father's Day!


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