Positively Paula

For Single Parents: Overcoming the Challenges of Dating After Divorce

Monday, October 24, 2011
I often hear from single parents who have divorced and are open to getting remarried. "Within 5 years of divorcing, 89% of men and 79% of women remarry," according to Stepcoupling by S. Wisdom and J. Green. RemarriageWorks.com supports you wherever you are on the remarriage journey, including if you are divorced or widowed and thinking about remarriage and having a stepfamily one day. If you are a divorced single parent, have you heard of DateMyFamilly.com?

I am passionate about helping people who think they want to get married again, especially before they remarry and have a blended or stepfamily. I think the remarriage journey is easier to navigate if you know what to expect ahead of time. One website that caught my eye recently is DateMyFamily.com. 

Basically, DateMyFamily.com is a free online dating website for family-oriented individuals. I am really careful about associating with dating websites, so I recently connected with one of its founders. I liked what I heard; their mission statement is "to establish a network of family-oriented individuals while inspiring love, happiness and growth, by not just building partnerships but by building families." Interesting concept.

I'm personally not in the dating world, online or off, anymore, so I invited DateMyFamily.com to share some ideas with single parents about overcoming the challenges of dating after divorce. Here is what they had to say:

"For the majority of individuals who have been through a divorce, the idea of dating again and committing themselves to another relationship is one that is challenging and takes time. But we are not animals! As human beings, we are social by nature and long for the attention and nurture of an intimate partner. And, although the feelings of confusion, guilt, vulnerability, heartbreak, insecurity, indignation, anger, depression — and the list goes on — are tough to cope with, they do eventually pass.

Dating in many cases can be one of the most effective tools for growing past the heartbreak and moving on after divorce, once you are comfortable with the idea of it. There are a few key factors for dating after a divorce that can make it easier, more enjoyable, and make it possible to begin a fresh and successful relationship.

1. Self Confidence. Similar to dating prior to marriage, self-confidence plays a huge role in dating after divorce. Not only does self-confidence help in attracting a date and making you feel good about yourself, but it also serves as a step forward in moving on from the previous relationship.

2. Having an open mind. One of the worst thing someone can do when re-entering the dating world after a divorce is to compare the new person they are involved with to their previous partner. Although it is something that will occur naturally, it is one that should be avoided. Especially openly making comparisons or remarks about your prior partner to the person you are currently speaking to or interested in. Nothing turns someone off quite as badly a a person talking about their ex. Having an open mind and positive attitude towards the new man or woman can also help you appreciate new aspects of the person or even yourself, that you were previously unaware of.

3. Take your time. There is no rush to jump into another relationship and risk getting into a similar situation to the one you already experienced. Taking your time will save a lot of energy and potential grief and the future and make you feel more secure with the person you end up dating. It also allows for more positive dates because with no rush, you will really be able to pick through the crowd to find someone you are truly compatible with.

By keeping these three tips in mind, dating after marriage should be a positive experience that gives you a second opportunity at finding that special someone as well as help you grow as an individual. And, remember, we're not animals! Don't be afraid to go out and find your true life partner!"

So, there you have it from DateMy Family.com, the world's first free family-oriented dating platform that effectively uses a matching algorithm which goes one step deeper to match individuals not just through personality traits and common interests, but through their background and views on family.
Let me know what you think! I, myself think the "Take your time..." makes a lot of sense. If you are remarried, would you advise the same? If you are a single parent after divorce and happen to sign up for DateMyFamily.com, I'd like to know your thoughts about it, too.

It Isn't Too Late to Hear "Mediation Can Help in Divorce & Remarriage"

Tuesday, October 04, 2011
If you missed my interview, "Mediation Can Help in Divorce & Remarriage" last night on RemarriageWorks.com's show on the Stepmom's Toolbox network, it isn't too late to hear it! You can listen to it or download it on BlogTalkRadio.com. A sincere thank you goes to guests Jim Pope and Ann Warshauer of the non-profit Northern VA Mediation Service for a very enlightening interview.  Enjoy!  Coming up on our next show on Nov. 7 is an interview with Christy Borgeld, the founder of National Stepfamily Day plus a special surprise for remarrying brides. 


Recent Posts


Tags

familymoon blended family stepfamily support group stepparents therapist blended families stepfamily issues remarried Garter Brides love for grown-ups IDEALS of Kentucky National Stepfamily Day widowhood stepsons second honeymoon second wedding invitations marriage stepmom divorcing remarry wedding invitation wording merging two families freedmont mortgage stepdads stepmoms stepparent stepfathers divorce second marriage marry stepfamily terms the garter brides christy borgeld remarriage journey stepparenting remarried with kids stepbrother remarrying brides stepfamilies with special needs kids second weddings family law attorney stepmom's Kim Olver encore bridal dress after divorce step-grandparents stepdad stepfamily names stepfamily coach Northern Virginia Mediation Service exes stepchildren stepfamily counselor wedding invite co-parenting plan stepson's ex remarrying children second marriages post divorce mediators remarriage co-parenting joint custody divorced stepdaughter stepfamily experience child support stepfamily with a special needs child wedding invite wording blending stepmother stepfamilies stepmothers wedding invitation Yaffa Balsam RemarriageWorks stepfamily relationships professional mediation Stepmom's Toolbox stepmotherhood shared joint custody marrying blending families brady bunch DIY wedding invitations national stepfamily day foundation Father's Day weddings and children blending your credit histories stepmoms-to-be stepfamily encore brides second wedding financial problems carl delmont remarriage works national stepfamily summit remarriages journaling relationship questions stepchild stepson para-kin.com step-grandma mediation stepfamily meeting carla david design widowed stepkids wedding invitations stepfamily life Journal for Stepmoms stepfamily counseling divorce mediation alimony

Archive

Tell Us About the Details of Your Second Wedding

1. How much did you spend on your second wedding?

$0 - 1,000
$1,001 - 5,000
$5,001 - 10,000
$10,001 - 20,000
$20,001 or more

 

Here's What You're Saying

“I find your site extremely helpful and resourceful in dealing with the many and daily issues of parenting, co-parenting and life issues that come along.” –J.P.

“I love the information you all provide. The magazine was so helpful in trying to navigate the remarriage with kids territory. Thank you for all of your information and inspiration you provide.” –K.W.

“Have I mentioned HOW MUCH I love your site?!?!? It's really cool. . . . I'm getting married to a man that has two kiddos, and it's quite a lifestyle change for me!” –M.M.

RemarriageWorks Book Giveaway

My Bonus Mom, Taking the Step out of Stepmom shows children who come from divorced families that a positive attitude can lead to a very happy outcome, thereby springing open the hearts and minds of children to accept their own "bonus" moms and dads.


reMarriage Twitter Feed

Step Family Success